9 self-care tips from Daenerys you’d never expect to get

10 april 2019, 14:00 ∙ 7 min read

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Alice Melody

Game of Thrones leading character’s name and self-care tips in one sentence? We must be joking, right. Nobody could imagine that it’s possible to discover some care and mindfulness in those ruthless Kingdoms.

Ahead of the Season 8 premiere on April 14, which is about to grab our evenings and eliminate night rest, we’ve decided to examine the path of the least expected character to learn any self-care tips from.

No matter the pile of names viewers give the heir of House Targaryen – a blonde devil or a badass unbeatable people’s defender – she’s got a bunch of worthy skills and practices to borrow (besides flying on a dragon). Here are our favorites.


Rewards herself with big names

You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, Rightful heir to the Iron Throne, Queen of Meereen, the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, Mother of Dragons, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, The Unburnt, the Breaker of chains – We’ve heard that dozens of times.

Daenerys article 1

To be honest, someone should advise her to print out business cards and hand ‘em out prior to the royal reception to escape the hassle of proclaiming them again and again.

But let’s stop right here. All Dany does is cherish herself for each win and bestows a brand-new title on herself to lift the mood, keep the army motivated, and instill remarkable achievements they’ve fought for.

Those names are no different from positive affirmations psychologists often advise to create and repeat in front of the mirror at hard times.

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Come the right day, and an inspiring pitch may save you from heading down the rabbit hole. Or your project from failing in vain. Or your toes from someone stepping on them.

TLDR: You’ve already got boatloads of things to praise yourself for. List them out, make a personal happiness motto and write it on an imaginary emblem of your own House.


Doesn’t care about unsolicited feedback

We may be feeling crushed when receiving negative feedback. It sticks to us as burrs. At the end of the day, it seems like we were making our way through a thicket of burdock. Ever tried to get rid of at least one? Ouch, that hurts!

Daenerys article 2

Well, here’s a masterclass from Dany. In the middle of Season 6, Dothraki nomads first got her trapped and then invited over to a “party” at the tribe’s Headquarters to say that she’s “a midget. That no one in the whole world cares about her. That she’s got no voice”. A huge mistake.

Since our girl rises high above unsolicited offensive critics (as she always did), she reduced to ashes the Dothraki tent and fortified her army with thousands of warriors of Khalasaar. Of course, that’s only a metaphor for us. The paramount thing to learn from this scene is that we can be on top no matter what they say. No, we don’t need to seek revenge. IRL, it doesn’t work like that. But we can show resilience to negative influence from the outside. We can, and we should.

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A few hacks here. 1. Sort out facts from personal opinion. While the first deserve to be heard and thoroughly evaluated, the second is only an individual perception of you. 2. Take some time, don’t react immediately. 3. Take into account only polite and rightful criticism, don’t mention harsh comments. 4. Trust your gut feeling. Deep inside, you always know where the truth is.

TLDR: Be brave. Be self-assured. Follow your one-of-a-kind way, live your life as you see it. And buy yourself a cookie.


Keeps her inner fire burning

When was the last time you thought “Oh, it’s not gonna happen, I couldn’t do this”, “That’s not about me”, “I’m pigeon-hearted/too basic/untalented?” (pick familiar ones or complete the line with your ‘favorites’). We’re prone to keeping our mind on utterly devastating beliefs every day.

While they might be 100% wrong, our passionate conviction makes them a hundred times stronger, and in the end, can make them come true.

And what does Dany do? She knows that the first person worth to trust in is… herself. She acts as if she spent the past couple of years in a comfy armchair at a psychologist’s office in Manhattan. Rewind her ecstatic reply to Jon Snow: “Do you know why I’m still standing? Because of faith. Not in any legend, or god, or myth. Faith In myself. I was born to rule the Seven Kingdoms”. Nailed it.

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This rock of self-assurance can’t be moved even with a grader. “I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me”. Similar self-approach is radiated by celebs and self-made billionaires on the Forbes list. It’s the robust belief in your own strengths that may turn your life upside down for better.

With that said, think of your forte, list it out, assess what comes naturally and nearly effortless for you. Learn to use your skills and traits whenever the time is right.

TLDR: As the proverb goes, we all get in life what we dare to ask for. So let’s pull our inner fire out of that secret vault and make it dance (please do have a fire extinguisher within your reach).


Goes through grief but doesn’t give up

Daenerys article 3

Do you recall a heartbreaking scene of dragon’s defeat? Hit by a Night King’s spear (a throw worth the Olympic medal), Viserion plummeted from the sky in seconds to hit blood-stained ice, drown, and leave his terrified Queen mourning the loss.

Dany’s face went pale. That was not a fear of losing power or a weapon rather the pain of ceasing to protect her ally and the most loyal defender. She was literally paralyzed by Viserion’s last flight (yep, the resurrection thing came up a bit later).

Sitting at Jon’s bedside and talking to him, she makes a powerful confession: “The dragons are my children. They’re the only children I might have. Do you understand? We’re going to destroy a Night King and his army. I give you my word”.

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Weak and wounded, Jon Snow holds Dany’s hand, but she steps back showing him it’s time to grieve, time to be downhearted, time to cry. She needs some space to recover. Even the strongest of us have the right to feel blue.

Daenerys article 2

TLDR: It’s OK to be depressed, to cry, to go through a meltdown, to feel like your world is tearing apart when something bad happens. Give yourself time, ask for help, seek professional advice, stay close to significant people. Even when things go smoothly, you don’t have to grin like a Cheshire cat all the time.


Unwinds in a hot bath

This tip is spread far and wide across Instagram: as mere as it seems, a half an hour spent in a hot tub with soothing aroma oils and soap bubbles can do wonders.

The only thing – avoid talking to strangers while bathing naked and asking them to join your army as The mother of dragons did in Season 3. There are more appropriate places :) Oh, here’s another one: watch out your steps! The actress playing Dany Emilia Clarke once revealed that the toughest thing when shooting that scene was not to fall over because of the slippery.


Accepts vulnerability

One may object that it’s hard to take all those Daenerys’s strengths for real when she’s probably the most powerful character on a show, fire immune, unbeatable due to fairy tail forces she wields. Every enemy, obstacle, danger in her way bends a knee seconds after she gets furious and fires up the ‘Dracarys’ command. Another result hasn’t even been considered.

In this instance, dragon’s death in Season 7 vividly showcases that even the most successful personalities fail. Fail to win, fail to protect close ones from diseases, fail to be in charge of everything at once.

That’s when the GoT plot got a bit closer to reality we all have to deal with. Understanding that life isn’t perfect, and there ain’t no ideal personalities, gives us relief from the inner tension. And look! We’re up again, doing our best, fighting for what is worth fighting, living an enjoyable life.

TLDR: Give yourself credits for merely showing up for a day. Cherish yourself for each “At least, I can try” thought. Set aside the intent to be flawless. Accept your imperfection and vulnerability. Even meteorites fall from the night sky. The key is to get up and go on with your way.


Travels a lot

Having spent all her childhood and adolescence in exile, the would-be Queen of the Seven Kingdoms thrived to see the world and visit distant continents. Well, rather conquer than visit, but that are just details.

Thus, she grabbed her passport vicious dragons, a few thousand warriors, a good hairdresser, obviously, and ventured from Pentos through Vaes Dothrak, Qarth, Meereen, floated across The Narrow Sea and finally got to the Westeros. She had been learning languages, making acquaintance, having affairs, and freeing people from slavery on the go.

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What’s the point? Traveling enriches you with knowledge and teaches you to live outside the box. Not to mention the sheer joy of changing landscapes and cultures.


Never loses her dignity

Set on fire or chained, enslaved or sold, betrayed or wandering in exile, Daenerys keeps wearing her cast-iron royal posture. Whenever we look at her, we realize – here comes the queen.

The way you treat yourself is literally the way others will treat you as well. No one would respect a person who doesn’t value and appreciate herself. That’s a rule of thumb.


Dressed to kill

And Dany’s gorgeous costumes, almost forgot! Time to chase the bargains and spring into life.

Aside from being undoubtedly cruel, Daenerys managed to give us a few lessons. Her strength is not in a squad of dragons, though it may seem so. Her inner force is dignity, robust belief in who she is, and who she’s going to be.

A role model for cultivating self-love, by all means.

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